When it comes to a wedding, getting gifts is one of the best parts. What other time in your life will you receive so many? And there isn’t just the gifts given on the day of the wedding, there are shower gifts, and even engagements gifts. With all of the gifts that pile up, there’s another aspect of getting gifts: writing thank you notes.

Thank you notes may seem a trivial task, especially if you’ve already verbally thanked the giver. However unimportant it may seem, don’t skip this task. For guests who do not personally deliver their gift to you, receipt of a thank you note will ensure you received their gift and you won’t be able to verbally thank every giver. Gracious receiving is the surest way to assure your guests of their importance to you and a thank you note provides physical proof of that.

The list of do’s and don’ts is long so to keep it simple: 

Thank you notes should be sent for each gift (don’t combine shower and weddings gifts) as soon after receipt of the gift as possible. A practical rule of thumb is to have all thank you notes sent out within two weeks after the shower and three months after the wedding.

Write a few each night, spending as little as thirty minutes—maybe more depending on the total number you have to write—and you’ll accomplish your entire note writing in no time.

Additional things you can do to keep your thank you note writing process as simple as possible is to do the following:

1. Start an address book of your guests. You’ll want this on hand so you don’t delay sending out notes because you have to search for an address and it will double as your resource for addressing the invitations.

2. Write down all gifts and from whom as they are given. Ask a bridesmaid or close friend to compile the gift list at showers and after the wedding. Ensure the list accurately describes each gift, differentiating where needed (i.e. color, brand, number, dollar amount, etc.).

3. Keep the identity of the giver with the gift. You’ll want to make sure you can identify the giver without any confusion. After a gift is opened, keep the card with it until the thank you note is written. At the wedding, assign a gift attendant to collect gifts from the guests as they arrive and ensure cards are secured with the gifts so the identity of the giver is not lost.

4. Purchase thank you cards in bulk and in advance to have them on hand. A nice way to differentiate between all pre-wedding gifts and wedding gifts—especially if guests will be giving gifts at showers and again at the wedding—is to have separate thank you cards for shower gifts and wedding gifts. Retail stores sell cards designed for the two. A nice idea for the wedding thank you cards is to order note cards that coordinate with your wedding invitation. Personalize these coordinating note cards with your spouse’s name together with yours as the wedding thank you notes will be from you both. Plan to buy or order at least the same number of note cards as invitations then add on a dozen or more for future use.

5. Handwrite thank you notes only. Typed notes are impersonal and diminish their significance.

6. Share thank you note writing with your future spouse. The bride isn’t required to write all of them. Sharing note writing is especially helpful when you may not be acquainted with guests on your spouse’s side. That person can write a more personal note than you when you don’t know the giver. If only the bride is present at showers, she should write all of the thank you notes but if the groom is present, he can share writing responsibilities.

To further aid in the thank you not process here are the top three items to include in a thank you note:
1. Identify the gift by name.
2. Remark in its significance to you.
3. Express your gratitude.

Once a thank you note has been written, check the item off the list or cross it off, whichever your preference. In the overall view of things, it takes only a few minutes of your time to write, address, and send a thank you note, compared to the time spent by the giver purchasing, wrapping and transporting the gift. Those few minutes may even save a lifetime of hurt feelings and drama. Remember, gracious receiving is showing appreciation.